Sunday, February 22, 2009

Keep Your Hands Off My Hummus!

Welcome back, folks. Doug Campbell has graciously agreed to write a guest-blog about something he feels passionately about. For other, non-vegetable related writings of his, check out his blog at www.impropermittens.com/music

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Hi everyone. I’ve volunteered to be a guest writer in this nascent blog to expose one of the most criminally overrated food items on the planet. I’m not terribly worried about overstating my case here, as this nefarious ingredient has infiltrated nearly every course on restaurant menus and grocery store aisle. I could go on about the overwhelming overuse of this ... thing ... but perhaps it’s best to identify the source of my chagrin.

Roasted red peppers.

Maybe not what you were expecting, and that’s fine. It’s not as though roasted red peppers are really the stand-out culinary accessory there were a decade or so ago. And that’s my main objection to roasted red peppers: they’re presented as a means of making food more “creative” or “exotic” or even “luxurious,” when in fact they are as common as table salt. And about as creative in application.

First, a disclaimer or two. I don’t dislike roasted red peppers per se. I can’t claim that I really like them - by themselves, they’re rather goopy and sloppy, and their sweetness is often cloying. But if added as an ingredient and balanced by something particularly smoky or heat-inducing, they’re fine. And I do very much enjoy red peppers (and their green, orange, and yellow siblings) in other applications - in stir frys, chili, or even raw. Heck, I think we even have a jar of roasted red peppers in our fridge.

What I object to is the belief that adding roasted red peppers to a food item, be it salad dressing, a sauce, a side dish, or an entree somehow makes the now-adulterated comestible (thank you dictionary.com) more exotic or suggestive. Like they’re the Anais Nin of your pantry, making an otherwise bland and pedestrian menu kinky and risqué. Because really, roasted red peppers are the bar tramp of the plate. At one point, they might actually have been dangerous or sexy, but they played that hand way too many times, and are now just common.

(I think the most egregious application is in hummus. Admittedly, I am something of a hummus snob and purist (I wish I could say connoisseur) and thus I really don’t like when people attempt to improve upon or re-imagine hummus with new ingredients. It’s fucking perfect food, people - leave it alone. But adding roasted red peppers? So wrong. So very very wrong.)

But again, I don’t dislike them (roasted red peppers or bar tramps), I just think their lingering reputation is entirely undeserved.

Thusly, it is now proclaimed. Roasted red peppers are overrated.